Getting My Mojo Back

As 2022 has rapidly crept around, I find myself – like many others – writing down the typical New Years resolutions in order to attempt at bettering myself with the hopes of radically transforming myself into some top-tier version of myself.  I must admit, I took a rather long hiatus from blogging over the entirety of December.  Truthfully it was down to sheer laziness, but for the sake of professionalism, we’ll put it down to my personal need for an extended festive break.  

 

This year, I am going to really try hard to change my procrastination habits that have accompanied me along my life’s path thus far.  So, believe me when I say this will be a huge challenge.  The aim is to become the planner and list-maker of my wildest dreams – following in the footsteps of my best friend and organised Capricorn, Georgia Gray (hello if you’re reading this).  

 

During my time at university, Georgia inspired me to attempt (the keyword here being ‘attempt’) at planning my days in order to maximise my time and get the most out of my degree.  However, as a serial procrastinator, I’m famously used to being bailed out of my awful time-management by my incredible ability to work well under pressure.  I was also extremely lucky to be able to rely on my ‘natural smarts’ during my school days, taking me through my GCSEs and A-Levels with an almost unfair level of ease.  But now, at the ripe old age of 22, I feel the urge to truly commit to a lifestyle change wherein I stick to a semi-flexible timetable so that I can reach my short-term and long-term goals faster.

 

This year I’ve written down my ‘resolutions’ or, as I like to refer to them – ‘goals’ or ‘aims’ – on my iPhone’s notes page.  This makes my goals tangible and concrete, as they are visible right in front of me rather than floating around inside my muddled brain.  I’m choosing to refer to this year’s ‘resolutions’ as a set of goals/aims to take the pressure off of myself to fulfil each individual goal.  Many of us will, more often than not, feel some sense of guilt after the festive month of December.  In my opinion, this sense of guilt is completely uncalled for as December is categorically a month of pleasure, festivities, indulgence and enjoyment.  We are allowed to let loose and let go of all fitness, health and work related goals over Christmas in order fully immerse ourselves in the joy of the season. However, saying this, it is still the case for many of us – myself included – to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt after Christmas for overindulging on rich food, lazing about the house and taking our foot off the gas workwise.  Therefore, we use the month of January to fast-track all of our personal goals to combat our Christmas laziness.  

 

By making attainable goals instead of crazy resolutions, we can allow ourselves to feel more comfortable when faced with our intentions for the New Year.  They act as guides rather than looming ‘must-do’ actions.  Without this added pressure we are more likely to achieve the goals that we set in place, as they don’t seem as scary or as hard to attain.  If, for instance, we don’t reach every goal set in place, e.g. we aren’t able to fit in three gym-visits per week, but rather make two weekly visits, we can still be proud of beginning to reach our ultimate goals.  Instead of focusing on quantitative measures for our goals, we can focus on the positive steps made each day, each week, and each month to achieve a happier state of being.  It’s all about making new habits that are easily achievable in order to achieve the long-term goal.

 

Obviously I am no professional ‘new years resolution guide’ or specialist, but I’m speaking from some personal experience from my own past attempts at making changes every single new year since being at secondary school (I was clearly quite the self-improver from a young age).  I’d say I’ve always been overly self-aware of my negative behaviours and (what I perceived as) negative attributes.  Therefore, as I’ve been making new years resolutions since the age of about fourteen, I would say I have quite a lot of experience with what works well as a goal/aim and what does not.

 

Over the years my resolutions have normally centred on losing weight and getting toned, which is totally fine, but in my opinion there are so many more ideals to strive for in this one life that we get to live.  Maybe it’s due to my age that I now choose to strive towards other, sometimes more meaningful, personal goals.  Some of my aims for 2022 include:

 

·      Drinking alcohol only on social occasions

·      Reading 20 minutes every morning and 20 minutes each night before bed

·      Learning 15 minutes of French and Spanish on Duolingo every day

·      Eating out once a week 

·      20-30 minute HIIT workout 4x every week 

·      Swim twice per week 

·      Eating a balanced plate at all three mealtimes every day

 

I am aware that there are still some health and fitness related goals, but notice how they aren’t centred on losing a certain amount of weight in a restricted time period, or based on consuming a restricted diet.  Believe me, I have tried restrictive diets many a time in the past and they NEVER work out.  They will either lead to episodes of binging or, in a worst-case scenario, to a fully-fledged eating disorder.  And in 2022 we are claiming none of that damaging diet-culture bullshit.

 

This year I’m aiming to expand my mind more than ever by reading more books, focussing on entirely different genres that I wouldn’t normally reach for (I’ve recently started ‘Dune’ by Frank Herbert, as a science-fiction book series his work is a stark contrast from my usual repertoire of romance novels).  

For as long as I can remember I’ve had my nose in a book.  But I tend to stick to similar storylines whenever I reach for a book to read for pleasure; think first person, female narratives about sex, work, relationships and the self.  I’ve just finished my third Sally Rooney experience with her novel ‘Conversations with Friends’ and to say I’m disappointed that I’ve finished it is an understatement – partly because I’ve practically fallen in love with Nick.  No wonder I’m hopeless at real-life romance when all I do is fall for fictional characters (I set myself up for disappointment).  As you can probably tell, I read in order to live a romanticised life within someone else’s shoes.  While I will most definitely be continuing with some of my common reading patterns, I, perhaps out of want for a sense of bravado, want to broaden my mind and start reading not only other genres but also more non-fiction.  I also want to try to get back into literary theory and famous essays.  I’ve started to, albeit strangely, miss my degree and all of the work that came along with it.  I’ve always toyed with the idea of completing a Master’s degree but it is just so expensive.  We’ll see if this bizarre desire to learn sticks around for long (or not).

 

I desperately hope that my goal to save my alcoholic drinks solely for social occasions does decide to stick around.  This is a pretty standard practice for lots of people, but since living the ‘student life’ (aka party, party, party) at University and continuing to lead a pretty relaxed, low-stress working life as an au pair, I still find myself frequently deciding to ‘unwind’ with a glass of wine (or three) come night time.  While this is common practice for many, I am fed up with waking up feeling dehydrated, tired, and with zero motivation for the day ahead.  And when I say zero motivation, I mean a ‘lay in bed, order takeout, feel completely disgusted by myself’ kind of day.  

 

How can I expect to make the most out of my time and reach the goals I’ve set in place for myself if I continue to live an unhealthy, party lifestyle?  As I’m writing this it is going well so far (I don’t want to speak too soon) but we are three weeks into January and I have only reached for the bottle three times – with each of these being weekend social events with friends.  Admittedly I have had to branch out and try some alcohol free alternatives, the most recent being a 0.0% Sam Miguel lager, which was actually very refreshing when I paired it with my signature satay sweet potato curry < https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/satay-sweet-potato-curry >.

 

Another activity that I am extremely glad to be getting back into is swimming!  I used to swim for my town for around 10 years when I was a young child right through to my teenage years.  During my time at Queen Mary I took my inner water baby back into the pool, swimming for the University team.  (I must add that I wasn’t the perfect squad member during this era of my swimming career as I barely made it to any of the sessions.)  You could call me more of a ‘social’ member.  I brought the party to the bar, not the energy to the training sessions.  All this being said, I miss the rush of intensity I used to feel as I dragged the water back between my fingers.  There must be something in the water (literally) in 2022 because it has reignited my desire to swim.  I’ve been back for three sessions so far and have loved how powerful it makes me feel.  A sport that I am really good at, a sport that I forgot how much I liked: swimming reminds me to have confidence in my own strengths and abilities.  I realise I sound slightly mad but I hope that someone reading this feels inspired to dive back into an old hobby or a childhood pastime that they have all but since fallen out of love with.  It reignites all sorts of happy feelings inside of you.

 

As one of the only British au pairs in the area, I have met lots of international friends with most of them informing me that I am “the only British person they’ve met so far!”  That means the pressure is on for me to improve their use of the English language, and I don’t mean to brag but as an English graduate I am clearly more than qualified for the job.  Saying this, being surrounded by so much language (French, German, Spanish, Italian) is spurring me on to absorb as much of it as possible.  I studied both German and French at GCSE level, carrying on my French learning to A-Level, but I have never attempted at learning any Spanish.  Thus I’m aiming to widen my Spanish vocabulary to some extent, at this moment in time all I can say confidently is “Yo como manzanas” translating to “I eat apples”.  Evidently I have a long way to go.  

 

This is showing me, however, that it isn’t about how much you know, but rather how much you enjoy the learning process of things; of understanding new ideas, new language and new cultures.  I couldn’t be happier with where I am right here, right now in this life.  I would wholeheartedly recommend moving outside of your day-to-day life to almost anyone, whether that be: au pairing (like me), travelling to that unfamiliar country, applying for that dream job role, trying that new dance class, or even pushing yourself to taste a new dish!  The people you meet, the things you learn, and the things you discover about yourself are incredible.  I’m certain that I wouldn’t feel this newfound lust for life and excitement for the future had I stayed home with my parents in a job I didn’t love, wings clipped and mind redundant.

 

To sum up all of my thoughts and feelings for this year ahead, I’ll choose to focus on one word: growth.  I’m hoping to carry on learning and increasing my life experience, which is something everyone should do.  Life can get pretty tough sometimes and it can be easy to lose yourself in, at times what feels like, the banality of everyday life.  Without a true zest for life and a real love for what you’re doing with it, you can easily slump into depressive moods which cloud your internalised image of yourself and your future.  Believe me, I was stuck in that sort of place for over a year due to the pandemic, finishing university and not taking proper care of myself.  

 

Again, I’m not claiming to be a self-help guru or anything of the sort – in fact, I’m not even sure if anything I’ve written here is helpful or inspiring – but if you can somehow manage to resonate with or be inspired by anything I’ve spoken about in this post I’ll be happy.  

 

Happy New Year!

 

Written by Molly McKenna, 20.01.2022.